|This one really did go to 11! Good friends = good times.|
In, 2008 my theme was the Year of Selfishness. Not bitchiness, mind you but this theme served as a reminder to do what was best for myself before doing what was best for others. We become the best friend, daughter, girlfriend, coworker, self, etc. only after we've taken care of our own needs - that's my thinking anyways. So in 2008, I tried to put me first, sometimes failed, sometimes succeeded and over all learned a shit-ton.
2009...hmmm... it was the year of something...honestly, I forgot what, which is probably a good thing. Oh wait... its coming back, now. 2009 was the Year of Recovery, putting broken pieces back together and finding my footing once again. 'Nuff said.
2010 was the Year of Fearlessness! I am an over-thinking, sometimes over-reacting, overly-enthusiastic girl with an over-active imagination that often gets herself in over her head. And then overly freaks out. This was the year to breathe deeply, have confidence in my abilities and decisions, and remember that even in scary situations that I have what it takes to get myself through. Risk is actually a good thing. After all, if we don't take it on now and again, in the end we might find we've missed every amazing opportunity that comes our way; the view from a mountain top, chances to make new friends, the possibility of love.
This fall, a friend told me that fear is his internal indicator. It helps him asses what he's up against and make the decision of whether, with his skills, he can mitigate the "danger" to keep going or if he should instead back off. Halfway through the year, fear changed from being a bully that I loathed to being a great tool instead. So, less the Year of Fearlessness and more the Year of Fear-use-ness. Go figure.
And now, here we are on the brink of eleven. I like taking things to eleven. And I have a VERY good feeling that this particular "11" has some awesomeness in store. So...
2011 is the Year of Being Present. I do not feel old, I actually feel "younger" in the sense of physical strength, energy and happiness at 32 than I did at 22. But I know that every year goes a little faster than I'd like. Every experience provides perspective; and I'd like to hold onto those just a little longer.
I've mulled over and over the amazing days spent with incredible people in 2010. I've been provoked and inspired by thoughts from others; Redhead Writing's Blue Balls, Daily Pep Talk, Scott Stratten's Going Until We Stop, Rock Climber Girl's - well, every story she's written and conversation we've had, Dirtbag Diaries (also check the archives for the White Book)... this list is long.
What I've found - and dear friends you know this all to well about me - I'm always in such a hurry. Such a hurry to fix, clean, climb, ski, walk, meet up, dance, laugh that I rarely slow down once I get there. And I have a hunch that this is why my years are slipping by too quickly. In 2011, I will be present. I will take the time to hug you longer, better, will go on longer walks with the pup to watch her bounce and frolic. I will not hesitate to watch the sky morph through an entire range of colors as the sun begins to set until every star is out. I will be aware of each moment to notice the smallest flurry of a drifting leaf in the wind or the colors in the wings of a bird. Be present to notice all the things that make my life so wonderful and colorful and rich and then appreciate them. Right. Then.And there.