how do i slow thee?

i brought a significant amount of work home this weekend. not that i should be working on the weekends- i try hard to separate work and life- but sometimes sanity demands it and this is gonna be one of those weeks. but despite what i know i need to do...distractions appear aplenty...1. clean dog. 2. eat pumpkin pie with roommate and update on each others weekends events. 3. take down light fixture in bedroom and clean it. 4. shuffle paperwork that needs attention. 5. pause to ruminate on bono's amazing voice. try to be so present with bono's voice that maybe i'll get lucky enough for him to appear in my dreams tonight. 6. clean fingernails from a weekend of attempting to build fires, filling hot tubs, and tossing rocks into a river.... 7. curse computer for its microscopic memory and inability to run 2 programs at once. 8. have an internal debate about dating in ones 20's vs 30's and if it really has gotten any better or if im just trying to make myself feel less like brigit jones. 9. try to figure out how to uncheck whatever button i checked that flags my own blog for objectional content. dont think doughnuts are that sketchy. whoops. 10. wonder how its already after 10 and my work to-do list is still as long...see how easy this is? see.too bad work cant do itself sometimes...

In Search of Frosting

A recent trip to Portland sent me on a quest for cake and frosting and a little voodoo magic.

Goodness. Gracious.

Happiness is frosted dough

South bound

Leavin on a midnight train to georgia...or a morning train to portland.

Air is My Cushion

(aaron and the giant fishhook,
what can we catch in that cave?)

I'm not a fan of heights. They often terrify me. Which is the exact reason why I decided to start rock climbing. "What a silly fear," I thought. "Why dont I self-propel myself to high, exposed places where, without proper gear and skills, I could fall and most likely die!"


So here I am, 6-ish years down the road, having given hours, $$, skin on my hands and knees, etc. to conquer this fear. I do, actually, love climbing purely for the feel of the rock and the route and of my body as I finds my way up these routes. And, for the payoff of unbelievable views at the top. But, I haven't gotten over the fear yet, not entirely.

(my legs look oddly tiny...must
be my mega climbing guns! ha!)

But, I did win a mini-battle on Sunday, out at Index after 10 months off. Toxic Shock out at Index. We warmed up on Great Northern Slab - a comfy 5.6. I got to follow the whole way thanks to my super duper climbing partner, Aaron and was feeling confident. It was a beautiful fall day, I had the best company, and it felt so good to be back out there. Leaving the crowds of the slab behind, we hiked up to Toxic Shock, a great 5.9 crack. Aaron gave the lead to me and after some good encouragement, I decided to give it a go.

(just before the fall,
happy heads have helmets!)

I have never fallen on lead. I avoid it, hold on for dear life, over-grip, scream, swear, and grunt, anything to avoid falling. 


But Sunday was different. I fought, pushed my wimpy, out-of-shape arms to the max, and fell. Twice. On gear! And it held!!! I even hooked my foot in the rope and flipped upside down on fall 2. (thanks, helmet!). I've got a bit of rope burn and scrapes and if i sit to one side, the big bruise on my right buttcheek hurts. But, I fell! And I was fine! (Thanks, especially, to my great climbing partner for the belay). And, I actually want to go do it again.
So, take that, Fear!


Lets go do it again!

crickets make a good back up band

3:32 in the a.m.

the full moon illuminates SR20 so well i hardly need brights. and the stars are magnified out here in the middle of nowhere doing their part to light the world. the rolling hills that run alongside the highway gleam at their tops, just a bit.

its late. very, very late by my standards. and my coffee from the jear jammer truck stop is getting cold. but i'm feeling like it could keep driving for hours! the key to this craziness???

heart

blaring. loud. but i sing louder. take that ann and nancy.

a quick stop for a full-moon photo opp and i realize the crickets are singing to heart at the top of their lungs too. 

i love feeling at one with nature. 

dreaming from dungeonous depths of a ferry boat

The rule makers at the Washington State Ferries clearly haven't met Maile. If they had, perhaps they wouldn't have such stingy rules when it comes to furry buddies on ferry boats. Alas, Maile's sparkling personality couldn't sway andthe cool breeze from the "dog area" on the car deck.

I suppose its really wasn't that bad.Though we shared a space with their "spill kit"(?yikes?) and their mop bucket, we did have front row views from our corner, fantastic port holes for M to peek out of (thanks for the pic, Jen), and the intrigued stares from fellow passengers thinking I was a nutzo talking to myself, when really I was simply talking to my dog (much less crazy). I was feeling quite special in my corner.

I was digging my hands into the pockets of my down vest with my shaking, terrified dog on my lap(she's not a fan of ferry boats any more than they are of her), and then....

...Then! I saw it. The most beautiful, perfect boat (disclaimer: i dont really know it was perfect. my boat expertise is minimal - my only recent experience on a sail boat was sliding back and forth from one side to the other as the "weight girl" during a beer can race in the bay area a few years ago which left me drenched. for all i know the perfect boat could've had a hole in the bottom and was flying to shore to escape sinking. it sure looked perfect). Two wooden masts, four billowing sails, leaning just-so with the wind and FLYING through the saltwater.

I couldn't see the people on board, but I can only imagine the smiles plastered on their faces from the thrill of speed, the gorgeous blue sky day, and clear, open water dotted with beautiful islands to explore. My overactive imagination put me on that boat, in white boat shoes with a red striped shirt and one of those gilligan's island hats, of course, simultaneously pulling rigging and sipping great wine and good PBR while laughing at the side-splitting conversation and jokes of my fellow sun-tanned boaters. Since this is my little dream, lets make the men shirtless too. Why not? :)

I settled into my seat next to the spill kit with my little day dream and added one more thing to my long list of things to do, eventually. Anyone want to take up sailing lessons with me?

A little tardy but never really late, just like a chicken bus

Remember that feeling...? You knew it so well once upon a time. On the way home from 3rd grade, with summer vacation just a day away, those vinyl seats heated up on the slow trip while you compared your Garbage Pail Kids cards with your best friend. As you stood up to get off at your stop, the skin on the backs of your legs stuck to that sticky hot vinyl that seemed to sweat itself.

I almost forgot that feeling. And the way it felt to push the buttons towards one another on

 those ridiculously difficult-to-maneuver windows to get a little airflow. Sitting on the chicken bus heading out of Granada, I am definitely feeling vinyl seat sweaty sticky legs, and also a little like a clueless and awkward 3rd grader (perhaps i discovered the fountain of youth too). As a (mostly) functioning adult I should be able to easily make sure I get from point A to point B and back again. But this is difficult to do when the language spoken is beautiful to my ears but doesnt translate through my thick, English-speaking head. Other than a few basic phrases. Such a doce. (hey, its simple but at least I know how much to pay for my fare, roughly 10cents in US dollars. Take note, Light Rail.) And muchas gracias (I say that a lot. Since I understand the phrase,  like to use it as much as possible). 

Thankfully, that morning I was going to the end of the line and didnt have to figure out all that much on the bumbling ride to Masaya. We arrived at a dusty, enormous parking lot and without too much trouble, I made my way through the hectic public market where everyone wanted to sell me everything, to the artisans market (aka, tourist market) for the last of my souvenir shopping. 

Now on the bus again, after a long day of picking out hammocks and vases, I'm mesmerized by the hummingly frenetic, calming chaos of the market that floats through the window... the harsh smells of raw chicken and fresh cheese that have been sitting out on a table in the sun all day mix with the aroma of fresh baked breads and pasteries, and nose-tingly exhaust and sweat. Men and women call to the passersby with their great deals on sparkly plastic sandals, avocados nearly the size of my head, and rice and beans that overflow from gigantic bags. Women with baskets on top of their heads filled with baggies of some sort of pink juice negotiate the crowds and weave through men with trolleys carting all sorts of goods for sale back and forth. Somehow all of this chaos works. 

Hard working women wearing frilly, dainty aprons that are the market sellers standard, come through the front door of the bus, baskets on heads to sell their juice baggies and candy and breads jumping out the escape exit at the back after they've sold all they can. The bus slowly, slowly fills as we wait for departure. I am filled with happiness over all the crazy hubbub (maybe it was the nica libre at lunch). I'm also sad that I'm leaving all of this to go home tomorrow.

Memories from the trip run like a movie through my head and mix with the scenes of the market as I look out my window, until...

Suddenly, I'm distracted by the man in the seat across the aisle from me getting up with a loud rustle. As I turn towards him, I notice his red, plastic grocery sack. It has a chicken in it. The head coming out one end, and the fluffy tail out the other. A live chicken! In a plastic bag! On the bus! It turns it's head and stares it's beady chicken eyes at me. Surely it didn't know its upcoming fate; it actually looked quite content being in that red grocery sack.

The man and chicken exit the bus just as the driver turns it on with a phffwump of exhaust out the back. As we bumble through the dirt parking lot on my last chicken bus ride, my heart feels a little heavy over leaving Nica. Until I realize I've picked the wrong side of bus. I stick like glue to my seat, with the afternoon sun blazing through my window.