Dirty Talk

Heading towards the first climb at Red Cliffs, I mentioned to the gals, "this hill is one of my challenges." A newer mountain biker, I've tried to ride it numerous times, both up and down, but the top corner, deeply rutted through the center, had proved to be a nemesis.

Kung-fu grip helps in Moab

As we approached the hill, my mind tapped in on trusty mantras. I heard Claire, an old cycling buddy, "Pull! Pull! Pull!!" And I heard the calm, smiling voice of my fiance, "kung-fu grip." And I heard my legs, "GEAR DOWN, WOMAN!" So I did; geared down to spin, pull pull pulled up the steep, kung-fu gripped through the rutted section and then...suddenly I was at the top!

"Victory is mine! Muwahahaha!"and "yay! fun," my inner cheerleaders said.

Kari and Laura, my ride buddies came up to meet me and high-fives were passed around. Known possibility had just altered with the rush of blood to my quads, calves and into my ears - take that, nemesis hill. Whoop whoop!

Riding as this trio was new for all of us but we proved to be well matched. We were all getting our legs under us for the season, shaking out the cobwebs of old hesitations and rode on sharing stories until harder steep sections forced a pause in our conversations.

I didn't even notice it had happened until Kari said, "Ok, ladies, enough of that talk. You can save it for the guys if you want but not when we're together." I hadn't even noticed, but Laura and I had derailed our conversation into the dark, dirty world of negative self-talk. Coincidentally, I had also just noticed I'd begun to ride slower and feel nervous, my kung-fu grip felt less grippy and the rocks and ruts seemed to be getting bigger. Boo.

How did I go from being a cheerleader to a nay-sayer? Were Laura and I trying to make one another feel better about insecurities? If I one-upped her on challenges or what I was bad at, maybe she'd feel more confident? (I know, dumb idea.) Was it that we felt safe enough with one another to express our fears or insecurities? Were we simply perpetuating the "popular social sentiment" within our mini group toward our own potential abilities?

Psychologist Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory and definition of self-efficacy would argue that we were observing each another's negative behavior, mirroring it back to one another, and also projecting it onto ourselves. If you think back to your Psych 101 class in college, perhaps you'll remember him, but his theory says that the "social observations" Laura and I were making with one another heavily influenced our beliefs about whether or not we are able to successfully perform and master this whole mountain biking thing. Talking about how bad we are at biking and regurgitating stories of when we ate shit, while occasionally funny, wouldn't help us stay upright or feel psyched about riding next time.

Whether Bandura got it right, or not, we needed to reverse our thinking and spin it towards the positive. What happened to those encouraging voices to "pull, pull, pull" and keep a "kung fu grip"? We started downhill, which ended our chatting for a while as we each picked up speed, leaving me to contemplate our downward spiral into the self-doubting chit-chat.

How often do I sabotage my ability to ride a challenging trail, or climb a route just beyond my comfort zone because I buy into and perpetuate negative social behaviors? How much am I contributing to the doubt my riding and climbing partners might feel - am I sabotaging them? (yikes!) Am I thinking too hard about this?!?! Maybe. But, its important to remember that sticks and stones can break our bones and words can really screw with our heads. Thankfully, there are friends like Kari who call us out, reminding us we don't need to give negative thoughts any legs on which to stand and then walk all over our day. Negative social behaviors might domino effect to others, but so can positive ones.

At the end of trail with our heads back in the game, more high-fives were passed out, along with hugs and cheers of a "great ride" and "awesome work." Next time: less dirty talking, more dirty, dusty and fun riding.

New, Awesome Sport Specific Apparel: The Dog Walking Jacket

The other day a cheerful email popped up in my inbox letting me know a new line of cute, girlie, fashionable SUP apparel had just been launch by That One Women's Beach Apparel Company.

WOW!, I thought. If I were a paddleboarder, I could follow the email's links to shopping paradise to get fully equipped for the season. Along the way, my stoke for the the upcoming season would likely have been amped to frenzy levels. However, I do not SUP.

RUNNNNNNNNN!

The times I have, which have been very meditative and quite enjoyable, I wore the same swimsuit, tank top and shorts I wear to the beach or in a raft or under the sprinkler in my backyard while sipping a gin and tonic. My logic for my clothing choices while paddleboarding: Swimsuit stays in place should I errantly paddle myself overboard. Tank and shorts because, well, it was hot out and I was working on my golden tan.

A few friends of mine actually race in SUP events and to this I say KUDOS! It is hard work to say upright and direct the board where I want it to go. To do so while employing speed to beat out other racers is really impressive. Its challenging – I am not mocking SUP people. However. Unless you’re racing in the open ocean where winds could be fierce, or in the PNW where it could be raining and 50 on a mid-August day, does you really need special and expensive apparel specifically designed for SUP’ing? Do we need fashion SUP wear that is different from “fashion” yoga, pilates, climbing at the gym, biking around town, sitting on the couch-wear? Really? If all this niche-popular specialty gear is truly required by our individual “sports” then I’m putting in my request for a specialty dog walking jacket.

Have you ever considered the variable conditions and intensity of walking your dog?! Walking your dog can result in unexpected, dramatic, HUGE adventures! I realize SUP’ing is sexy right now, but lets not underestimate Dog Walking. Like a Rolex, Dog Walking is timeless; it will not go out of fashion. Just because Dog Walking is not featured often in pop-media does not mean your dog needs that walk any less. Now that we've straightened that out....Its time to make apparel specifically designed for the Dog Walker.

The ideal Dog Walking Jacket would include:

Poop bag holder – For either the rolls or stacks, user’s choice. Zip them up in a side or back pocket (that does NOT create unflattering bumps and bulges anywhere noticeable) with a little handy opening to pull one out in a flash when Fido takes a dump. This would mitigate that problems that arise if you have one of those little poop bag holders on your dog’s leash but you’re in an off-leash area so don't have your leash with poop bag holder and there are people around watching you. Dog takes a dump? No bag? You just earned World's-Worst-Dog-Owner-Ever status. If you were wearing this Dog Walking Jacket, you would've avoided the shame!

"Squirrel??"

Snack Pocket –  A pocket that is washable and securely sealed so that if you stick a handful of Puppy’s treats in there, they wont make your whole jacket stink like chicken bullion. Perhaps this feature of the Dog Walking Jacket could be called the Snack Pack.

Leash attachment – Have to walk the dog on leash before you hit the off-leash trails? This handy dandy snap-on feature allows you fasten your leash to your jacket for bounce-free security, keeping you “hands free” AND, if you have to run after Fluffy, the leash clasp wont smack you in the face! 

Snot/sweat wipe – Crisp winter air = runny nose. Fall/Spring blooming and pollen = allergically runny nose. Summer heat = sweaty, runny face into eyes. The entire forearm of one sleeve could just be a massive snot/sweat wipe. Awesome.

Coffee cup holder – Walking dogs + morning = coffee cup in hand. But what to do after taking that last sip with more walking still to do? The Dog Walking Jacket would have an elastic and Velcro pull cord tucked inside one hand pocket for just such a challenge. Pull it out of your jacket and give it a gentle tug to be sure elastic is fully extended (kind of like those oxygen bags on an airplane). Slip your cup inside the loop and VOILA, no need to carry the cup in your hand!!

Must also be waterproof, windproof, breathable, not too hot for summer and also warm enough for winter too.

The Dog Walking Jacket. Fully featured. Fashionable. Be ready for your high intensity adventures with Scooby and look cute too! Million dollar idea? BOOM.